Strength Through the Fire: Ann’s Story of Family, Advocacy, and Life After 50 | 50 Over 50 Portrait Series (Vol. 6)
Ann was one of the first few participants in the 50 Over 50 portrait series. She stepped in to fill a last-minute opening, which was perfect for her since she had been putting off having new branding photos done for some time. (I’ve been there, too!).
Ann has a fascinating background, with a mix of theological education, shifting perspectives on faith traditions, unexpected challenges and joys of parenting a child with disabilities, and the ensuing advocacy work that has led to authoring a book and beginning a blog to help raise awareness for her son’s condition.
I know you will be inspired by Ann’s story. (All photos by Amanda Faucett Photography.)
What are some of the most significant lessons you've learned since turning 50?
I've learned that new opportunities still present themselves. We have to be open and actively engaged, yes, but we might be surprised by what comes our way that weaves together different phases of our life and experience. It can still feel like a risk to take new opportunities, but it can also be very rewarding.
How has your perspective on life changed as you've gotten older?
My entire adulthood could be a case study on changing perspectives, from the immersive experience of theological education to parenting a child with disabilities and adjusting to the limitations it claimed on my life. As I've gotten older, I think I've finally synthesized much of what I've learned along the way, and most of it comes down to radical love and acceptance, and often, letting go of control. There is so much that we cannot change, but we can always work on being more loving, more inclusive, more understanding. That is the work of a lifetime.
What is one thing you wish more people understood about women over 50?
Maybe it's a GenX thing, but honestly, I still feel like I'm 30. I have ideas and aspirations, things I want to accomplish and experience. I believe my best years are ahead of me.
What accomplishments are you most proud of at this stage in your life?
I'm proud of my seminary education and serving as a minister in my early career. Although it feels like a lifetime ago, those years were deeply formative and continue to make me who I am. My writing often draws upon these experiences.
I'm probably most proud of my family. We have been through fire. My husband and I have parented through some very difficult circumstances. It was not guaranteed that we would make it through intact. Our relationships with our kids and with each other are strong, because we have worked for it.
On a related note, I'm proud of the advocacy work I'm doing now to raise awareness about PANS (Pediatric Acute-onset Neuropsychiatric Syndrome), the neuroimmune disorder that wreaked havoc on our son and our entire family for over a decade. Isaac was born with a rare genetic disorder and developed PANS around age four, when a series of viral infections triggered neurological and psychiatric symptoms. It took us seven years to get a proper PANS diagnosis, a process made more complex by his pre-existing condition. Sadly, this is a common challenge, whether a child has an underlying diagnosis or not. In many cases, a child suffering from PANS changes overnight, and families often go five or more years trying to figure out what happened. The aim of my awareness efforts is to shorten this timeline and help other families to avoid the trauma we endured.
I'm currently working with the University of Michigan School of Journalism and Front Edge Publishing to produce a book that will introduce readers to PANS/PANDAS and raise awareness both within the medical community and in the general public. I also write about our family's story and my experience as the mother of a child with disabilities on my website and blog, www.graycoloredglasses.com.
What are your hopes or dreams for the years ahead?
That is the question! I'm still working on the best ways to share our story. I foresee adding more blog posts and working with those I've already written to compile a chronological outline of our story, and I've also considered doing a podcast. I anticipate the release of the MSU/Front Edge Publishing book, 100 Questions & Answers About PANS/PANDAS, in Fall 2025 or Spring 2026. And I would jump at the chance to work on similar projects. I love editing almost as much as writing! As passionate as I am about PANS awareness, I am also the mother of a child with disabilities, quite apart from that diagnosis. I could spend years plumbing the depths of my experience as Isaac's mom and how that has impacted the whole of my life, my marriage, my daughter, my career, my thoughts on faith and the world, and on and on. In conversation, I'm a person of few words, but I have a rich inner life that sometimes comes out on paper or in public speaking engagements. Maybe there will be more of that. I'm open!
Tell me about a challenge you've faced in your middle or older years and how you overcame it (or how you are in the process of overcoming it, or accepting it).
Before I had children, I wanted to be a stay at home mom. Honestly though, my experience wasn't anything like I expected. Because my son's development was atypical, I felt isolated as a new mom, like what I was going through was different from everyone else. Parenting my young children was far more difficult and emotional than I ever anticipated. When Isaac was four and started having PANS symptoms, I was in constant contact with his school, often having to reroute my days to pick him up early. This continued for the next several years and included frequent illnesses and medical interventions. At some point, it became clear that going back to work wasn't in the cards for me, even if I wanted it to be. It wasn't so much that I wanted to work and couldn't as it was that I didn't feel like I had a choice. It was just a year or so ago that I finally said this out loud, and it was a powerful thing to put into words.
Sometimes I feel like I am still grieving the loss of a career or sense of professional identity, but I also recognize that nothing is totally lost. Along the way, I've tried to find creative ways to share my experiences and use what I've learned to benefit others. I became a trainer in the parenting methodology we used to raise our kids (Nurtured Heart Approach), writing two children's books, and teaching seminars to struggling parents. And I started a website and blog to tell our family's story. I called it Gray Colored Glasses, not only because of the cute little frames Isaac wore as a toddler, but also because I want to honor the very real challenges we've faced rather than glossing over them with a rose-colored lens. And my story--and my family's story--continues. There are more chapters to come, and I can bring all of myself and my experience into whatever comes next.
How do you nurture your physical, emotional, and/or spiritual well-being?
I suspect my answer will be different from others, but I spent a lot of time when I was younger on my spiritual and emotional well-being. My focus in recent years is more on the physical, and in a very real sense, they all blend together for me now. My father, who was always vibrant and full of life, died from ALS at 69. Within a few years, my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Having both parents suffer through neurodegenerative diseases was a wake-up call for me. I had already made significant changes to the way I ate because of dietary restrictions we put on our son. (I'm a practical person and unwilling to cook different meals for different people, so when he went gluten free and limited sugar, we all did.) But it had been years since I had a real exercise routine. I don't do anything too hardcore, but I do exercise almost every day now and have for the past seven years. I'm proud of this change and feel like it's a tangible way of loving and taking care of myself.
Thank you, Ann, for sharing your powerful story and your wisdom. It was a pleasure to host you in the studio!
Reader, if you’re ready to be seen and would like to participate in the 50 Over 50 Portrait Experience, please visit the project website and fill out the short form. I’ll be in touch soon. I’d love to have you! But don’t wait - the project is filling quickly, and I expect it to be fully booked in the next few weeks.
Want more?
Explore more inspiring women from the 50 Over 50 Portrait Series:
Leslie’s story: Finding joy and strength in her 50s
Aimee’s story: Unapologetically living out her values
Ronni’s story: Enjoying family, embracing aging, and living fully