Rosalind Roussel on rebuilding confidence and reclaiming her life after a hard marriage | Wise Women: 50 Over 50 Portrait Experience (Vol. 13)

“I think anyone that makes it over 50 is lucky. So turning 50, or turning 65, I'm grateful." -Rosalind Roussel

Meet Rosalind Roussel, one of the remarkable women featured in my Wise Women | 50 Over 50 Portrait Experience — a portrait series celebrating the beauty, confidence, and wisdom women carry into this season of life.

Rosalind is the picture of strength and resilience. A respiratory therapist who has gone through a series of personal and health challenges, Rosalind came to her session at a hard-won turning point: after years in a marriage that left her questioning her own worth, she's spent the years since rebuilding her confidence, her friendships, and her sense of who she is on her own terms.

What struck me most about Rosalind is her honesty. She doesn't shy away from naming what was difficult, and she doesn't dress up the parts of the journey that were slow or hard-fought. What she's found on the other side is a woman who has learned to sit at a restaurant table alone, show up to happy hour with friends, and trust her own instincts again — and who wants other women to know that confidence, once lost, can absolutely be rebuilt. I'm honored to share her story, in her own words, below.

What are some of the most significant lessons you've learned since turning 50?

Don’t sweat the small stuff. Life is too short to be miserable.

How has your perspective on life changed as you've gotten older?

After the age of 59, I became single. I had to learn how to socialize and do things by myself, like eating in restaurants alone and going to social events as just one. I had to learn to be ok and that nothing was wrong with me after my ex-husband made a statement about my body that devastated me.

What is one thing you wish more people understood about women over 50?

That women our age have seen more, learned from mistakes, and improved as we’ve aged.

What accomplishments are you most proud of at this stage in your life?

A person usually changes careers at least five times in a lifetime. I think it’s important to do the job you love. I think women should stick to their educational goals and still stay active in the workforce even if it’s part-time.

What are your hopes or dreams for the years ahead?

Turning 65, I’m looking forward to retiring and traveling. If you want to stay longer, you don’t have to rush home to go back to work because your off time is limited. I’m looking forward to being more active in the community.

Tell me about a challenge you've faced in your middle or older years and how you overcame it (or how you are in the process of overcoming it, or accepting it).

My ex-husband told me in a very vulnerable moment that I had “nothing to work with” about my body. It taught me to be stronger as a person. I realized it wasn’t always about being put down by my then-husband, but that was his way of controlling me. I had to learn confidence, and I had to learn how to make friends.

How do you define beauty now, compared to when you were younger?

I think beauty is from the inside out. I think being happy, healthy, and enjoying life is more important than just looking in the mirror.

What passions or interests have you discovered or rediscovered later in life?

I have discovered how to socialize. My ex was controlling; he went with me everywhere. I had to learn to go to happy hour with friends. He always went out with his group from work, but I always came straight home. Now I enjoy having friends to go to dinner with and rediscovering friends that stood by me when I needed them.

How do you nurture your physical, emotional, and/or spiritual well-being?

Well, therapy helps, lol, to get your self-esteem back. You learn to take care of yourself, eating better, exercising, long walks, and reading books.

What role do friendships and community play in your life now?

After my divorce, my friends were there. I thought they forgot about me, but I found out most of them found my ex-husband selfish and controlling. Sometimes your friends see things that you don’t, or you don't see them until you're forced to open your eyes. And then the world, and your relationship, look different."

What brings you the most joy these days?

Most joy comes from my dog Chloe. She is a teddy bear breed. My family and friends also bring me joy.

Any words of advice or inspiration for younger women?

Keep your dreams. Don’t change who you are for someone else. Women sometimes give up their dreams and concentrate on their husbands and family. You will always wonder what you could have become. Also, keep track of your finances!

Describe a choice you might have made differently in your younger years, if you'd had the knowledge you have now.

If I knew then what I know now: your parents are right. I would have probably changed my life course, maybe continued my education right after high school, then work and go to night school.

What is an experience that has significantly impacted the direction of your life? How old were you when this happened, and what was the effect on your life?

I was 59 when my ex-husband made a very hurtful comment about my body because I was 20 pounds overweight due to a medical condition. That statement was life-changing; how could a man you committed your life to say that? I had an idea there was another woman, but he always blamed me. It took 5 years to regain my self-esteem after that remark. I asked him, how would you feel if your sons said that to their wives? Well, he walked away. I learned men can be as hateful as women sometimes.

What is something you once feared about aging that you now embrace?

I think anyone that makes it over 50 is lucky. There are a lot of young and middle-aged people taking drugs, smoking, killing each other. Even now, you see more younger people with cancer. I think turning 50, or turning 65, I’m grateful

How has your relationship with your body evolved over the years?

I have had a lot of changes with my body. Breast cancer, including a double mastectomy, deepflap, two pituitary gland surgeries because I had Cushing’s. Then I broke a shoulder (I’m becoming bionic, lol). I think my body looks better now then in my 40’s because I work harder now then I did when I was younger.

Who has been the greatest influence on your life, and why?

My dad made me work for my education. I didn’t get to go off to college and just have fun and study. My dad told me if I wanted to continue my education, I had to pay for it myself. He told me when I graduated after my first 2 degrees, he would reimburse me. It was about being responsible.

What traditions or values do you hope to pass on to the next generation?

Stay true to yourself. Respect and manners have gone out the window with some adults and kids.

How do you continue to learn or challenge yourself?

I continue to stay active. I continue to work and be around people of all ages. This way you stay up to date. Watch the news, read, get involved, keep up with the latest trends. It doesn’t mean you wear all of them, but you can update your makeup, hair, and clothing.

What stereotype about women over 50 would you like to challenge or change?

Some women think at 50 they are too old to dress young and that they are too old to have fun. Some women give up taking care of themselves because they are in a cycle that they feel they are too old.

Want more?

Learn all about the Wise Women: 50 Over 50 Portrait Experience here. You can even sign up for a quick call for more info.

Explore more inspiring women from the 50 Over 50 Portrait Series:

• Kim’s story: Choosing positivity and finding peace through the “Let Them” mindset

• Judith’s story: Making her own way

• Jenna’s story: Resilience, reinvention, and refusing to slow down